Your attachment style is how you handle closeness in relationships: how much you worry about being left, and how comfortable you are depending on someone. Answer 12 statements to see whether you lean secure, anxious, avoidant or fearful-avoidant.
12 statements. Answer how you usually feel in close relationships, not how you think you should feel.
12 questions · about 2 minutes · no sign up
| Style | Anxiety | Avoidance | What it looks like |
|---|---|---|---|
| Secure | Low | Low | Comfortable with closeness and with space. Says what they need. |
| Anxious | High | Low | Craves closeness, reads a lot into slow replies, needs reassurance. |
| Avoidant | Low | High | Values independence, pulls back when things get serious. |
| Fearful-avoidant | High | High | Wants closeness and fears it; can move fast, then retreat. |
Attachment style is about how safe closeness feels. Your love language is about how you prefer to give and receive care. They work together: an anxious partner whose love language is words of affirmation may need reassurance said out loud, while an avoidant partner may show love through acts of service because doing feels safer than saying. Take the love language test to see both halves of the picture.
Secure, anxious (sometimes called anxious-preoccupied), avoidant (dismissive-avoidant) and fearful-avoidant (sometimes called disorganized). They come from attachment research and describe how comfortable you are with closeness and how much you worry about being left.
Yes. It is free, takes about two minutes, and you see your result instantly. There is no email, no sign up and nothing to install.
You rate 12 statements. Six measure attachment anxiety (worry about being abandoned or unloved) and six measure attachment avoidance (discomfort with closeness and depending on others). Where you land on those two scales gives your style.
Yes. Attachment patterns can shift over time and with different partners. Many people move toward secure through supportive relationships, self-awareness or therapy.
No. It is a short self-reflection quiz, not a clinical assessment. If your relationships feel overwhelming or painful, a licensed therapist can help.
A common push-pull where an anxious partner seeks more closeness and an avoidant partner pulls back in response, which makes the anxious partner pursue harder. Naming the pattern out loud is often the first step out of it.